love letters to myself // postmortem
i wrote this in the midst of my loneliness, trying to cope with the thought that i wasn’t destined to find anyone who really loved me. of course, things have changed since i wrote this one, but i still find this work a little melancholic. it’s not just about missing that ‘one true love’... it seemed like i couldn’t even really make friends or keep acquaintances, either.
though i’ve used the internet as a heavy form of escapism, it’s actually caused me even more problems than it’s solved... in turn, i think this work reflects how much i felt as though no one else could understand my feelings. so many claimed they wanted to, but no one really stayed.
i don’t think i can claim something as extreme as, “you can’t love anyone without loving yourself,” like some silly people say. but i do think you have to cherish yourself eventually. whether it takes a week, a month, a year, a decade... it’s fine, you know?
“I have to love myself, who I hate so much.”
—Sengoku Nadeko